Desonesto Doctrine is officially closed.
We started this site with grand plans and a dozen willing writers. But, as most things go with blogs, people just got lost, busy, lazy and bored. Rather than keep the Desonesto limping along, Adam and I have decided to end things. Now.
This is our last post on The Desonesto Doctrine.
Thanks folks. We appreciate all your views, comments, likes, reblogs and linkage. Despite the consistent lack of updates over the past few months, we have had fun posting our thoughts and funny Internet findings for you.
Our ending shouldn’t stop you from going through the pages of this site to find the stuff that’s been posted over from May 2010 to December 2011. Adam and I will hopefully have a new project(s) or site(s) to work on soon. When we do, we’ll update this post. For now, you can follow us via:
The fabulous Breakfast Links and @Baierman on Twitter
Adam (aka Echowood) on Twitter or on 3 Chords & the Truth
Dishonesty will still be tolerated!
In a few short years, we’ve had our share of big misses and mundane posts. But there’s also been a few break out hits. Here they are then. Our Desonesto Top 10 Most Popular Posts…according to your clicks and Google Analytics.
1. In case of gas attack, remove bra
Next to cats doing cute things, nothing boosts traffic like boobs or boob-related topics.
2. Top 10 Worst Steven Spielberg films
This acclaimed, esteemed, award-winning director has done it all. Including make a few bombs. Adam decided listed them for posterity. The Internet agreed.
3. 8 Christmas foods that should be forgotten
Don’t make the mistake of serving them at your next holiday shindig.
4. Things I learned from Chuck Jones
Chuck Jones was the creator, director, writer and inspiration behing of so many cartoon classics. Here, Baierman reflected on what his work taught him.
5. There’s no such thing as too much of a good thing
1 guitar made of 8 guitars played by 8 guitarists. Yeah, you have to see how they play it.
6. Saved by the Bell tournament
Cleet kicked off March Madness 2011 with a unique tournament. And this one had more Cinderella stories and hot cheerleaders than anything the NCAA has to offer.
We all love Saved by the Bell. And many viewers checked in all month long to vote for their favorites and pick a champ.
7. SBTB Girls of Zack Morris Region
Zack Morris was one lucky leading man. And his long list of ladies just goes to show it. This post was a continuation of the Saved By The Bell tourney.
8. 38 things I learned driving cross country
America is beautiful. It’s also odd, funny and strange. These observations were made as Baierman drove from NYC to Seattle, WA during the summer of 2010.
9. Cest Lamour No
Teachers having sex with students. It’s happening more and more these days. But it was one particular case, Marcie L. Rousseau, that got Cleet thinking.
10. Perhaps all male politicians should be made into Eunuchs
The Person in Power sex scandal is nothing new. But maybe if our male leaders didn’t need to think with their dicks they might actually do more, better governing? Thanks, Johnny Wright.
Parking in New York City is an expensive pain in the ass. I know, I’ve had a car here for the past 7 years.
Since most city residents don’t have driveways or home garages, keeping a car means you have 2 choices:
1. Park on the street.
2. Pay for a monthly space in a lot.
Ditching your car in the Hudson is only an option for Jimmy Hoffa types.
I know New Yorkers who put their cars in a lot or parking garage. Some of them pay a lot of $$$ for the privilege. Others, walk a half mile or more to a cheaper lot.
I know people – self-included - who make moving their car part of a twice weekly routine. Heading out at night to search for “free street parking” or driving around until a street has been cleaned and they pick any spot.
I also know a few people who park on the street and don’t move their cars. They take the ticket from the city and think of it as their monthly parking expense. In essence, the city streets are parking lot and these folk pay the city (in fines) for the privilege to park on the street.
As a neighbor who does this told me, parking tickets are cheaper than paying a parking lot.
Could paying a fine actually be cheaper than paying for a monthly parking space? Here’s what I found out.
By Adam Ferguson
The bulk of the photos on Instagram feature clouds and sunsets. I should know, I take most of them. And outside of the random dog pictures, or the barely-legal girls taking photos of themselves in the mirror while giving the duckface, it’s hard to find exceptional and consistently great photographers on Instagram. But there is one.
His name is ScienceHill_360 (or Brother Bill as we’ve always known him).
Incidentally, he happens to be the brother of our favorite former co-writer Miss Cellania and he is one talented instagramologist. He even took the time to teach Baierman and me some tricks about taking better photos and tricks for using the largest mobile social network. So, if you’re on Instagram and you want someone excellent to follow (outside of Baierman and myself) check out ScienceHill_360. Your rods and cones will thank you.
They’re delicious, sweet, and filled with marshmallowy goodness.
They’re Kellogg’s Rice Krispie Treats. And, as it turns out, they’re easy to mold and sculpt.
Just see here.
By Adam Ferguson
(I originally wrote this on YesButNoButYes, but I figured it was time to bring it back out.)
My intern keeps winking at me, rubbing her stomach and whispering “nine months” as she walks past. Lou, from accounting, dropped off a pamphlet on alcoholism on my desk, and there’s a pentagram burned into the carpet in my office. The day after an office holiday party is one full of regrets. Too much drink. Too much flirtation. Too much truth. The excesses are revealed the day after, and no matter how much you promise not to repeat the same mistakes next year, you always do. Always.
This year, I’ve written up a guide to keep you safe and prepared for next year. We’ll forgo the standard, don’t tell the boss to fuck off, don’t drink too much, advice. We’re going deeper this year.
By Adam Ferguson
Ah ignorance! Is there anything better than your whitewashing of history? Your infusion of misguided beliefs? Your self-centered head-buried in the sand ideals? Let’s face it, there’s a large part of this country that has absolutely no clue what they’re talking about. Take, for example, the recent Lowe’s controversy in which they removed their ads from All-American Muslim, a show depicting five muslim families living in Dearborn, Michigan. They pulled it because a conservative group in Florida (or, “not those people again”) called the Florida Family Association decided it was un-American to broadcast a show that depicted religion as anything other than Christian and they started a letter writing campaign. So forget the fact that this country has something called freedom of religion, and that one of the men on the show is a police officer protecting the Jesus-loving asses of his town. No, you see, the FFA wants America to fit into their ideals and their beliefs and if the comments section of the Lowe’s Facebook page is any indication, there’s a large number of Americans who are just as ignorant. This is absolutely in no way different than the Westboro Baptist Church protesting at the funerals of dead homosexuals.
Unfortunately, all of this is just another in a horribly long line of American ignorance that fails to see what our country was truly built on, and instead finds splintered “religious” groups pushing their own agenda by misinterpreting true American ideals. Need more proof? Keep reading.
Your childhood. Ruined.
It’s Rice Krispies Centipede
By Adam Ferguson
Because the main (and really, only) writers on this site also happen to work in the advertising industry, we’re always looking for ways to make our jobs more interesting. And since Don Draper made drilling your secretary passe in the late 60’s, it’s been an uphill climb every since. Luckily, Brand Memory attempts (and succeeds) to make advertising and marketing fun. Think you know what brand’s logo is being shown quicker than your friends? Try out this game and put your logo recall to the test.