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Adam:
I just took an amazingly clean shit. No spackle hit the walls - if you know what I mean.
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Thomas:
The teflon drop.
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Adam:
It was crazy. I could have served Christmas dinner on my butt cheeks.
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Thomas:
Must have been one hell of a wax job to keep the canyon walls clean like that.
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Adam:
Oh trust me, there's no where to hide on my backside.
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Thomas:
I took a shit so big the other day, my ass was bleeding like Macaulay Culkin after a sleepover at Neverland.
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Adam:
How the hell am I supposed to come back from that? That was good. That was almost too good.
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Thomas:
Did I rush it? Felt like I rushed it.
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Adam:
No - very well crafted. Though please tell me you had to look up how to spell "Macaulay." No one should be able to pull that one out without spellcheck.
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Thomas:
Is it right? I guessed.
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Adam:
I'm on to you and your pedophiliac ways. When you move to a new neighborhood, are you required to walk around and introduce yourself to the neighbors?
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Thomas:
No, I don't need to. They get notices from the government. And besides, he's OUR AGE.
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Adam:
Yeah, but still a bit creepy.
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Thomas:
Speaking of gay - are you aiming for the Marines or the Navy?
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Adam:
Huh? (Thinks for a second) Oh you fucking dick. Coast Guard.
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Thomas:
It's not gay if it's underway.
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Adam:
I took a shit so potent, George Bush was thinking of invading my anus and exploiting its natural resources.
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Thomas:
I took a shit so soft, Rex Ryan has a new fetish.
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Adam:
I took a shit so long, beavers use it to build their houses.
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Thomas:
I took a shit so hard, I texted a picture of it to Brett Favre.
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Adam:
I took a shit so angry, they made it wear a Hannibal Lecter mask.
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Thomas:
I took a shit so poorly put together, I had to pay Chinese import taxes.
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Adam:
I took a shit so large, Jenny Craig is thinking about instituting it as a new diet plan.
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Thomas:
My last shit had so much corn and rice in it, we're forcing it on Ghana ... and I get a rebate.
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Adam:
I took a shit with so much force, Yoda said I'd completed my training.
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Thomas:
This is not the shit you're looking for. I had a shit with so many things in it, Paul Jr is making a theme bike with it.
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Adam:
Wow... not everyday a man makes an OCC reference on IM.
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Thomas:
Same goes for Jenny Craig.
