Facebook Like Communism? Let’s see why not.

Zuckerberg is like Lenin, says Mustafa.

Mustafa is one pissed off Staten Island guy. He’s made because he got kicked off Facebook. There was no real explanation why. One day he was denied access and a simple way to communicate with his family and friends around the world.

So he’s suing Zuckerberg and Co.

Fine. Sure. It’s dumb, but not as dumb as the lady who claims Puffy cause 9/11. Except, in his argument, Mustafa equates Facebook with that of a communist country.

"I lived in a communist country where people had no rights. This looks the same to me," he says.

Well duh. Everyone on Facebook knows you have no rights on Facebook. (Except for the terms and conditions. And the fact that you choose to accept them. And it’s your choice to join the site.)

If there’s one thing everyone knows about Facebook, it’s that it was created by a Marxist. A follower of Lenin. A believer in Mao. (Zuckerberg? Sounds communist.)

It was created for us, the proletariat. It was certainly not created as a way to emulate real life social experiences, online. Or, as a place for companies to sell their goods and services.

Mustafa is onto something. And I’ve got to say, the more I think about it, I see his point. Consider the similarities….

Facebook likes to poke you. Communists like to poke you with sharp objects.

Facebook likes to know where you are, and we’re you’ve been. Communists already know.

Facebook has fan pages, groups and communities where you can find others with a common interest. Communists have community farms where everyone works for the common good.

On Facebook, you “Like” things. In Communism, things are directed to “Like” you.

On Facebook, you have friends. In Communism, comrades.

Facebook has terms and conditions. Communists has relocation camps.

On Facebook, you can see the newsfeed of every one of your friends. With Communism, you can read the newsfeed of the Government.

On Facebook, you get “requests, messages and status updates.” With Communists, you get “directed, reported and blacklisted.” (Same thing?)

Facebook is addictive. Communism, vindictive.

The American government is actively trying to stop the spread of Communism. I mean, Facebook.

Facebook is valued at $90 billion. Of course, all of that money will eventually be shared with all the 500+ billion members. 

Facebook had an online revolution. Communism had a bloody revolution.

With Communism, everything is under strict control of the Government. (Factories, roads, media, food distribution, etc) That pretty much describes Farmville.

Facebook is continually trying to subvert your privacy. Communists have no privacy.

People are very afraid of communists. People are very afraid of those not on Facebook.

Communism hopes to spread its message throughout to the world. Facebook, already has.


In jest,
Baierman

I’m not a Communist. But I am on Facebook. So that makes me…