SBTB Tournament: Girls of Zack Morris Region Elite 8

View the tournament thus far here.

In the pantheon of competition, dream match-ups rarely happen.  Competitors exist in different eras, facing different opposition and the debate exists in a vacuum with no resolution.  We will never see Tyson-Ali, Jordan-LeBron, or Gordon Bombay-Gretzky.  However, thanks to the support of all you participating out there we get to see two of the titans clash.


Kelly is seemingly the All-American sweetheart.  Object of Zack’s affection since his early days at Bayside.  He would hit the remote that lowered her cardboard cutout down from the ceiling often(I’m guessing, until he began to store it under his bed in the Artie[Slater’s chameleon] episode) and when he finally won her, all seemed right with the world.  Zack and Kelly were just meant to be, or so we thought.  The parallel universe that SBTB exists in is in many ways different from our own, but perhaps in the Zack and Kelly saga we can see some congruence.  How rare is a sure thing in matters of the heart?  Of all the people you know how many were high school sweethearts that ended up sticking it out through the marriage?  Can we truly blame Kelly for her heart running wild? 

In many ways we can.  Not only for her refusal to let Zack care for her the way he was capable (see: Daddy issues) but in the choices of the whipping post for her convoluted vessels of passion.  Jeff and Professor Laskey were both bounced in the first round of this tournament as a testament to the disdain they garner from SBTB-ites.  Still, the true beauty of Kelly is that she will indelibly always be Zack’s girl, even when she isn’t and that makes her a heroine.  One that we can aspire to or to aspire to be with.  She is the girl keeps you coming back, even when she’s given you enough reasons not to.  She is the “it” girl.  There are no other adjectives that do her justice, only to say she is Kelly Kapowski.


Stacey Carosi.  She jumped into our hearts one magical summer.  Is there anyone out there that never had a taste of Summer Lovin’?  Stacey came off cold and distant at first but after awhile she was dumping Yale fratboy douchebags for Zack’s sun-kissed blond locks.  It was a strong testament to the universal pull of young Morris.  Here we had Stacey who was as fervently anti-California as anyone could be, but in the end she could not deny Zack had something special. 

She was not as polished or lady-like as her contemporaries like Kelly or even Jessie, but when she had to let her tangled brunette mop down, she could wear the hell out of a blue and white polka dot dress.  She had that independent streak that might scare some guys off but only made Zack more intrigued.  While she was not around long enough to see the affects she definitely had some Daddy issues with Leon.  That is part of the magic of Stacey.  She was not long enough to make those mistakes with Zack, or become annoying or overly popular.  Isn’t that how most of our past relationships work?  You always look back with some sense of mysticism or curiosity about those with whom you had a short, albeit fiery, relationship. 

So, we have the contrast in styles and everything we need to know about these two.  The only thing that is left is to settle it once and for all.  Kelly or Stacey? What say you?