By Johnny Wright
In Giant Wang News…
In St. Petersburg Russia, an artist has drawn a massive, 220 foot long dangler on a drawbridge. This was done out of protest the city hosting the International Economic Forum. Basically raging against big business.
We here at The Doctrine have to side with the artist. There is no better way to show your displeasure than painting a giant wiener on a bridge. Just as effective as a peaceful march on a major American city. A dick shows you mean bidness.
When the bridge is, uh … raised (if you’re picking up what I’m putting down), the penis “glistens in the light” directly across from Russia’s Federal Security Service’s — successors of the KGB — local headquarters. That’ll show ‘em. Big wiener right out the window. There’s no comeback for that.
My question is this: How quickly did the artist paint this penis? You would think that halfway through painting the shaft, police would show up and say “Son, it looks like your are drawing a giant phallus on this bridge. Is this true?” “Uh, no, that’s the Sears Tower. I love America.”
“Sounds reasonable. Carry on, young man.”
Once again a universal truth is proven. A drawing of giant genitalia is a true form of protest. Peaceful and arguably artistic.