Death by Dildo!
by Ana Nimus
I try not to think about death that often, well at least not my own. However when I do consider my own death I sort of hope it will be quick and painless, like a gun shot to the head, or an 18-wheeler to the body. Definitely not drowning, not jumping and not pills, way too much time for regrets. One method I have never considered until now however is diddling myself to death! Who knew? Apparently a 30 year old English gal was found dead in her apartment with her pants around her ankles and a porn flick running on her laptop. The coroners are saying her death was more than likely caused by an arrhythmia brought on during a heightened state of arousal. Did you catch that? She was fucking hot for John Holmes and it killed her! This is not like the David Carradine story where he accidentally hanged himself while jerking off with a noose around his neck (don’t quite get that, but I don’t judge.) This unfortunate young lady was just looking for a little release after a hard day’s work and she ended up dying. That really sucks. It also really sucks to think that every time I touch myself now and make it out alive I will have cheated death! You know what I say? Fuck the Grim Reaper! Especially if it lets me get off more often;)
