38 Things I learned driving cross-country

Last week, I finally had the opportunity to see a lot more of America. From the Interstate 80/90 level. Even though it was a quick trip, and we were on a time line, it was a blast.

Let me tell you, driving 3000+ miles, from coast to coast, through 13 states, will teach you a lot about this country. 

Here’s what I observed…

  1. When you’re driving across America on a schedule, it’s not “Welcome to (state)” it’s “Welcome THROUGH (state)”
  2. Gummi Bears make good copilots.
  3. The buffalo still roam on the highways in South Dakota.
  4. The nickname for Pennsylvania should be the “Road Work State.” Delays are everywhere.
  5. According to loads of hand painted road signs, “Montana is God’s country.” Also, “Abortion is murder” and “Beef is freedom.”
  6. Once you leave New Jersey, you’ll find people are more friendly and patient. (That’s tough for a New Yorker to deal with.)
  7. There is way too much corn growing in America.
  8. Thunderstorms in the West are exciting to watch, but freighting to drive though.
  9. Mount Rushmore will make even a jaded New Yorker feel patriotic.
  10. It is possible for your ass to fall asleep.
  11. Don’t expect to find vacancy near the Corn Palace in South Dakota. Especially on rodeo night. Thousands flock to see events at this corn-based structure all year round.
  12. Americans love the RV.  I saw thousands of these traveling home units. They are everywhere.
  13. A TRUE full-service gas station has a casino.
  14. People are in an awful hurry to get out of Chicago. Despite the 55mph speed limit.
  15. You can hear the Yankees radio broadcast in Ohio. Thanks Buckeyes!
  16. Wisconsin Dells just might be the waterslide capitol of America.
  17. If you live near a Culver restaurant, I’m jealous.
  18. What the heck is Wall Drug? You’ll see.
  19. The Mississippi River is impressive, even in Minnesota.
  20. After driving through PA, you will be thrilled to get to Cleveland.
  21. It’s faster to sit in a parking lot and call the hotel to reserve a room, then to wait in the line in the lobby. Seconds later you can walk passed the angry folks who are waiting and get your room key.
  22. There are trees in America that are as tall as skyscrapers and half as wide.
  23. A 75 mph speed limit makes a 3000-mile drive go much faster.
  24. Asphalt roads are heaven compared to those paved with concrete.
  25. The billboard industry is alive and well in South Dakota and Montana. I even saw a billboard advertising a Facebook group.
  26. It’s not a great hotel unless there’s a waterslide, or three, coming out of it. Motels, hotels and resorts with waterslides, or indoor water parks, seem to be the hot trend from Wisconsin through Idaho.
  27. Fill up your tank before you enter Wyoming. It’s a big state with exits 50-75 miles apart and no gas stations in between.
  28. The best logo/mascot for a gas station is a dinosaur. Well done, Sinclair.
  29. GPS is pointless if your using the interstate. Unplug it or use the mute button.
  30. You can tell someone is really into RVing when they’re towing a trailer with a car and a golf cart.
  31. Residents of Washington State know how to make delicious coffee. Montana, not so much. 
  32. Trucks towing 3 trailers should be passed as fast as possible.
  33. If you live in Billings, Montana, your natural scent is petroleum.
  34. New York has corned the market on potholes.
  35. In many parts of America, the parking lot of Walmart doubles as an RV campsite.
  36. 3G doesn’t exist between Wisconsin and Idaho. Also, I think Verizon’s version of AT&T’s 3G map is more accurate.
  37. I think the song should not be “America the Beautiful,” but rather “America IS beautiful.”
  38. You can take a New Yorker out of New York, but you can’t get him to stop locking his car doors. Even in middle of nowhere Wyoming.

Thanks for playing America. I love ya.

-baierman

Tags: baierman travel america sweetness