Moving to the Country
By Adam Ferguson
I never wanted to leave New York City. Hell, leaving the island of Manhattan to tutor kids in Brooklyn always made me freak out and question the fabric of life itself. And yet, this chick who I’ve been dating for what seems like a goddamn eternity finally got sick of my 191.7 square foot* apartment and said I had to move… to a bigger apartment… outside of Manhattan… outside the state of New York even.
Which is why I now live (back) in Connecticut. Not only have I added over 1,000 square feet to my living space, I also have a view of a harbor, a pool, and a plethora of high school chicks swarming suburbia just waiting to be introduced to a well-cultured man such as myself.
But damn will I miss seeing homeless men crap themselves on the subway.
*Not a lie.
