Of course the headline is exactly what caught my attention as we are always striving for sex that will blow the mind. According to an article that appeared in the Journal of Emergency medicine, this really happened to a 54 year old woman. She apparently came in to the ER, after cumming with her husband, complaining that she couldn’t remember anything 24 hours prior to her climax! Unreal! There is a condition called Transient Global Amnesia or TGA that can occur immediately proceeding strenuous physical or emotional activity. How much does that suck? Have the best sex of your life and you can’t even remember it! I am just psyched that she was knocking heavy boots well in to her fifties! You go girl, even if you can’t remember your name.
Always,
Ana
We live in a Patriarchal society that rewards men for their accomplishments and works hard at preventing women from advancing in business, for example. Don’t get me wrong, tremendous strides have been made with women in the workplace and more men are choosing to be stay-at-home dad’s. However, in cultures around the world emphasis is still placed on “taking” a woman’s virginity. Anyone can stick their dick in a woman and say “I popped her cherry!” The issue I am raising here though is that there is no skill involved in ramming a round peg in to a wide open hole. Now to make that hole quiver and throb with the waves of an orgasm is a whole different skill set that unfortunately a lot of men are lacking. Most men are happy to blow their loads and roll over, but there are a wonderful select few that are willing to work their tongues and fingers to exhaustion just to bring their partner over the edge of stimulation in to ecstasy. These are the men that should be applauded, these are the men that will be rewarded with extra rounds of fellatio, these are the men we want! Women, don’t fake your orgasms, that’s just a lot of wasted energy, and a lot of men know you’re doing it anyway. Discover your body and learn what you enjoy so you can share it with your partner and experience true vulnerability as your body quakes in reaction to pleasure. Masturbate, get some toys, use them together, know what your body responds to and help your lover to learn what makes you cum. That way you can both take pride in knowing that you had a great orgasm and he helped you get there! Assignment for the week is to give your lover an orgasm no matter how long it takes, and feel free to email me details;)
Happy Monday!
Ana
It took Rep. Anthony Weiner more than a week to own up to his role in the battle of the bulge. He claimed he was hacked, denied it was his package, tried to joke about it, until ultimately breaking down like the pussy he is and admitting to sexting with at least 6 women. The unfortunate tragedy here is that he was actually a pretty savvy politician and was well on his way up and gaining strength in the world of politics and all that shot to shit because he got a hard on one afternoon and shared it with someone who wasn’t his wife or urologist. Terribly disappointing, Weiner. If he had just come out with it immediately he wouldn’t be packing his career in to a tiny valise right now. The dude has at least a 7-incher, that’s something to be proud of, not hide! So he’s a douchebag and sexts outside of his marriage, many do, and I have the cache of cock pictures to prove it! But I guarantee none of the shots that I have belong to any politicians or public figures, well almost none. I love sexting, I am damned good at it, and a nipple shot or two has passed through my world wide web, but I am not running for office or asking thousands to put their trust in me to not act like a total moron. That was your failing Weiner man, no one really gives a shit that you like to take pictures of your wanker and send it to people, but when you’re supposed to be balancing a budget and passing education bills, things can get a little sticky! Thanks for letting us down, from politico to gigolo in less than 7 inches, that’s got to be worth something?
Always,
Ana
Freud always said that seeing an airplane in a dream was symbolic of male genitalia. Well what do you do when you are on a plane in real life and see male genitalia banging the shit out of female genitalia? Yes, I mean right there in seat 14A! Now you know I am sex on the brain pretty much 24/7, but even I can contain my desires until I am at least in the bathroom sucking off the guy in 2C. I like pornography, I enjoy pornography, but it is a means to an end. Watch people fucking so I can get off in one fashion or another. It is a bit masochistic to watch people sticking things in to each other and not be able to get off because say you’re on a god damned plane with 200 passengers around you! This was a dude in a business suit, nothing more, nothing less. He was neither attractive nor unattractive, just a guy with his laptop open watching a DP scene while on his way to JFK. If you don’t know what DP means in the porn world, google it and check out ATM while you’re at it, and hell, maybe even do it on the bus!
Always,
Ana
hurt someone whilst in the throes of passion? Yeah, I didn’t think it was something I would be in to either until I had the opportunity! I am usually up for just about anything when it comes to pleasure, but the idea of deriving pleasure from pain is a bit foreign to me. Similarly, deriving pleasure from causing someone else pain was an idea that was hard to grasp (pun intended.) Now I’m not talking blood and gore here people, just a little whipping, smacking, and clamping. Nothing that could cause lasting damage or leave permanent marks. If you haven’t seen Californication starring David Duchovny then you should! The whole show is practically centered around an incident later referred to as “Fucking and Punching.”
Someone I “see” from time to time is in to pleasing women and if that means binding them and hanging them from a doorway and then repeatedly whipping them and sexing them until they achieve orgasm, then so be it! The women are happy and he gets pleasure out of the pleasing. He has regularly tried to talk me in to the restraints, the clamps, what have you, and it’s just not my thing, probably because they freaking hurt! But when I caught sight of his little leather flogger I was intrigued, not to have it used on me, but to use it on him.
This was a bit different for my friend because he is the one usually dominating. Well, the second I got that flogger in my hand it was all over for him and me! I loved it and he had such an intense orgasm he ended up crying. An interesting twist for me was that just at the moment he was about to release I had a tremendous urge to just whip him as hard as I could! I didn’t, though I promised him that I would next time;)
So if you have ever thought about giving or receiving and you have a partner that you trust, maybe it’s time to move outside the “box” and try something new. Here is a link to the flogger that I now hope to get as a birthday present!
http://store.babeland.com/bdsm-floggers-slappers/bare-floggers
Enjoy!
Ana
There I said it and I did it. Three times to be exact in as many hours. And let me tell you that my cooch was grateful at the time, but now is a little sore. You might be asking why I decided to schtoop a man I hardly knew? Well the easy answer is that I was really, really horny! The more complicated one is to see if I could actually go through with it. Men are rarely judged for going home with some chick and “scoring.” Women on the other hand are labeled as sluts, skanks, and sperm dumpsters (yes, that is a widely used term, pun intended!) As sensitive creatures, women are not generally going around screwing the first guy they meet, not because they don’t want to, but because they don’t want anyone to call them names! I wanted to find out if I could have really great meaningless sex and not be upset if he didn’t call in the morning. I wanted to know if I could let a guy stick several fingers and other toys inside me and not care that I didn’t know where he was born and raised or how he pays his rent. Yes, I did get current HIV test results and practiced safe sex, that is if you count using an electric stem machine as safe! Yowza! The good news is that I did it, it was great, and I didn’t care that he didn’t call to check on me in the morning, in fact I was hoping he wouldn’t! The bad news is that I want to go back and I am not sure if that skews my results?! Either way, there’s another notch on my lipstick case!
Yours,
Ana
There are not a lot of people in this world who are willing to take care of the sick and dying, let alone have sex with them. Amber Van Brunt, is one of those special people who take healing and comfort to a whole other level. The 33 year old hospice nurse was allegedly having an affair with a patient who was diagnosed with ALS. Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, also known as “Lou Gehrig’s Disease,” attacks the nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord. In other words, it sucks! As the disease progresses, patients ultimately lose the ability to chew, swallow, and breathe on their own. How awful does that sound? By some miracle however, this patient, under Van Brunt’s care was able to get a hard on and have sex with the cute young nurse caring for him, it has been reported. And do you know that Van Brunt has been punished for this and banned from nursing for 20 years? Ok, so the patient was married, but I would put money on it that his wife wasn’t giving him blow jobs between bedpan changes! Amber Van Brunt provided her terminally ill patient with some moments of joy, how is that a bad thing? Good luck with the appeal Amber, we need more nurses like you!
Yours,
Ana
Happy Holidays to everyone and hope you got all the gifts you were hoping for. For some reason when I think of the holidays and special treats somehow Anal Sex always comes up and this year has been no different.
A professional Dominatrix was being interviewed and was asked about men who enjoyed being penetrated with dildos and such. The interviewer asked first what the percentage of straight, heterosexual men requesting this technique was, and she answered about 80 percent. The follow-up question was, out of those 80% what percentage were actually in the closet or in more obvious terms, gay men living as straight men. Without hesitation, Mistress Alura responded with 100 PERCENT! This frankly shocked me and that is why I am turning to you, our loyal audience.
Do you think that a man who enjoys being penetrated anally is actually secretly gay? What about the guy that really enjoys giving or performing anal sex on a partner, does that make him gay? Knowing that some of the most sensitive and stimulating nerves are located around the anus, I say no way. Now if that same man gets pleasure out of sucking another man’s dick, that’s a whole different story! Just ask Andrew Dice Clay.
Yours,
Ana
And now back to the dick jokes….
Why doesn’t a chicken wear pants?
Because his pecker is on his head!
Feel free to add your favorite penis joke below!
A new sex study has been released by doctors at Indiana University and it doesn’t seem to tell us anything we don’t already know. Men lie about the percentage of orgasms they give, men will more than likely orgasm during sex that involves vaginal penetration as opposed to women who have a much harder time reaching orgasm from penetration, and women are more likely to have an orgasm during casual sex rather than sex with their partner. I want to focus on that first allegation that men are lying about the orgasms they are responsible for. Of the men surveyed, 85% said they gave orgasms to their last sexual partners. Of the women surveyed, only 64% said they reached orgasms. Now I am not putting all the blame on the men here, but the numbers clearly don’t add up. First of all the reality is that out of that 85% of alleged orgasms, only about 40% were probably real and not faked. And out of the woman who claimed to achieve orgasm, only about 50% may actually know what an orgasm feels like. We are just not in touch with our bodies or our sexuality enough to realize that if we were all getting laid on a regular basis half the negative shit that goes on in this world would disappear. I am not saying that we can end wars by screwing each other, but if that guy driving on the highway cuts you off and you have just had an incredible blow job, you are probably less likely to take out your 9 millimeter and pop a cap in his ass, am I right? And ladies, when that bitch at the grocery store takes the last loaf of wonder bread away from you, imagine you have just had ridiculously hot, up against the wall fucking, and you are giving up those carbs without a second glance.
The bottom line is that these sex surveys are useless. If we are not teaching our lovers what feels good to us, then we deserve to have blue balls and blue bells. We are in charge of our satisfaction. Now imagine me on the steps of some federal building with my 8-inch purple dildo in my hand, “We are horny as hell, and we are not going to take it anymore!” Only when you please yourself can you begin to bring pleasure to others. Amen and good fucking to all!
Yours,
Ana
By Ana Nimus
Driving out to a friend’s house in the Hampton’s, I see a sign that says “Peaches-U-Pick!” I realize how wonderful it would be to show up with some beautifully ripe and juicy peaches, so I follow the sign and end up at this amazing out of the way Peach Farm. There are rows and rows of trees filled with plump ready to eat sweet fruit. I am quickly greeted by a guy that works the farm. He is so cute and from all that manual labor he is bursting out of his white t-shirt. I can just about trace the six pack abs and his shoulders are so broad I can imagine him lifting me up to fuck me against a tree. Damn! I start giggling nervously when I realize he’s asking me if I want to have a go at his peaches. I sheepishly tell him yes and he hands me a basket and directs me to the row of trees at the back of the property. He assures me that those peaches will be the biggest and juiciest since everyone always picks the ones up front.
Off I go with my basket and I can feel how wet I got in the two seconds of fantasizing about some ranch hand. Mmmm, hard not to start thinking about him again, he is fucking hot. That dirty blonde hair against his crazy tanned body, piercing green eyes that practically burn your skin when he looks at you, and that ass in those jeans, oh man. Who knew peach picking would be so fun? I get to the last row of trees and find the most magnificent pieces of fruit just dangling there waiting to be enjoyed. I check to make sure no one is looking and I take a bite of a peach that is so rich in color and so smooth with fuzz protecting it, it makes me think of my own piece of fruit that has just a bit of fuzz and is so juicy right now because of that guy! As I bite into the flesh of the fruit the juice spurts out all over the front of my sun dress and down my arm. it is just about the sweetest thing I have ever tasted. It is even a little warm from the sun so it only amplifies the flavor. If I continue to eat this amazing peach I am only going to get stickier from all the dripping juice so I decide to take off my sundress since no one is around anyway. I hang it from the tree so it can dry and go on eating and letting the juice run down my body.
Read More
