By Adam Ferguson
Ah ignorance! Is there anything better than your whitewashing of history? Your infusion of misguided beliefs? Your self-centered head-buried in the sand ideals? Let’s face it, there’s a large part of this country that has absolutely no clue what they’re talking about. Take, for example, the recent Lowe’s controversy in which they removed their ads from All-American Muslim, a show depicting five muslim families living in Dearborn, Michigan. They pulled it because a conservative group in Florida (or, “not those people again”) called the Florida Family Association decided it was un-American to broadcast a show that depicted religion as anything other than Christian and they started a letter writing campaign. So forget the fact that this country has something called freedom of religion, and that one of the men on the show is a police officer protecting the Jesus-loving asses of his town. No, you see, the FFA wants America to fit into their ideals and their beliefs and if the comments section of the Lowe’s Facebook page is any indication, there’s a large number of Americans who are just as ignorant. This is absolutely in no way different than the Westboro Baptist Church protesting at the funerals of dead homosexuals.
Unfortunately, all of this is just another in a horribly long line of American ignorance that fails to see what our country was truly built on, and instead finds splintered “religious” groups pushing their own agenda by misinterpreting true American ideals. Need more proof? Keep reading.
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By Adam Ferguson
Far be it for me to pass judgement on someone’s belief system which was derived from centuries of misinterpretation and has resulted in a form of brainwashing designed to control people from stepping out of line. But a church that piles up on people possessed my demons — the results of which leads worshippers to expel snot and vomit — that’s just hilarious. Much like Jackass or Deuteronomy.
Check out the video here.
By Adam Ferguson
Holy shit guys, I think this dude Harold Camping is onto something. The world may actually end tomorrow. I did some research and the folks at Family Radio who are preaching the end of times have infallible proof:
Gay Rights
This whole “we want to demonstrate our love for each other by getting married” thing has had evil written all over it from the start. Two people of the same sex in love? Movements around the world to make sure these people can express their love the same way others can? Surely this strive for equality and outpouring of love is God’s way of smiting all of us.
Before it’s too late, let’s lock up Lady Gaga! Burn your VHS copies of The Birdcage! Pray for the destruction of San Francisco, Provincetown, and Key West! We can reverse this cycle of happiness and bow before a vengeful god in the hope he can forgive.
Do it soon, I’ve got a lot of shit I need to take care of on Sunday.
By Adam Ferguson
For those who don’t know, the world is going to end on Saturday. In other words, all that shit you meant to do but couldn’t find the time: do it now. Rape a camel. Punch a cop. Eat gorgonzola. In two days, none of it will matter. And if you’re unsure of what to do when the world ends, this Facebook page can steer you in the right direction: Post Rapture Looting (here’s another Facebook page too).
Sure, it’s vaguely racist but only with the level of racism your grandfather has when talking about his tours in the Pacific. And some of the comments are fucking hysterical. For instance…
- [In reference to one overly-religious commenter] “You watch The Passion of the Christ and beat off, don’t you?”
- “Whoa guys. Whoa hold up hold up…what if…. the looting… and life without religious zealots IS heaven?”
- “Dibs on all the bibles!!! wanna make a cozy fire for the afterparty;)”
Because I’m an atheist, I’ll either spend Sunday burning in the fires of Hell, or working off my hangover and nutting to an old picture of my college girlfriend.
